Bow-chicka-bow-bow.

Luke Thompson writes in the LA Weekly about horror films and the so called “torture porn” trend — also acknowledging The Passion of the Christ as such.

It’s a bit embarrassing that for all my jibber-jabber about zombies and horror movies I have not seen any of the Saw movies or Hostel or the like. Not out of lack of interest or critical puritanism but out of plain old laziness — I’ve seen plenty of the exploitation films they imitate (or emulate), and I understand the connections to current events, so what’s the rush? Those who know me and my interests are usually surprised I haven’t seen these divisive films. Others usually turn up their nose and say something to the effect of, “You aren’t missing anything.” In both cases, I’m interested to find out what the person I’m talking to thought of the movies. Because anything that stirs up so many opinions can’t be totally worthless.

Thompson’s article revisits a reliable thesis about horror cycles, what we respond to and why, and it astutely defines torture as listening to critics who won’t shut up about how abominable torture films are. The whole thing reminds me I should get around to seeing a couple of these things lest I become all talk.

Part way into the The Glamorous Life of Sachiko Hanai, one gets the feeling that it might be one of the greatest protest films to come out of the U.S. invasion of Iraq, recalling the counterculture chaos of Alice’s Restaurant, Catch-22 and the like. Not to be outdone, however, Sachiko Hanai’s mondo absurdity involves a hypersexual titular tutor with a bullet lodged in her brain and a cloned finger of George W. Bush in her pocket (and elsewhere) that is wanted by North Korea for its nuclear doomsday capabilities. Steal that, Abbie Hoffman!

Naturally, the best anti-Bush film yet comes from the only country attacked by WMDs, and it involves copious breast-grabbing (both by Sachiko herself as well as others) and the fetishizing of (who else?) Noam Chomsky. That it’s a card carrying pinku eiga should tell you two or three things about the state of protest during these uncertain times (notable exceptions being Stephen Colbert and those dudes who pulled the Aqua Teen stunt in Boston).

Made in 2003, this Nippon Up All Night was originally released as Horny Home Tutor: Teacher’s Love Juice. The “glamorous” version is supposed to be an expanded cut, but a single viewing of the original at 20x speed on DVD doesn’t reveal big differences. Most importantly, the king scene (embedded above) is in both versions, pissing on the wall all the film’s territorial rights. Expert aim is taken at the nuclear obsessions of the Bush administration, a subject occasionally eclipsed by the terror card, and a subject on which Japan retains all rights. For all the weight a nation like Japan carries on the atomic subject, Sachiko prefers the long lost, punk rock middle finger to the on-the-nose approach of a political bumper sticker.

More “God Save the Queen,” less “Give Peace a Chance.”